Debt-Cieling Crisis Update
This just in: Charlie Sheen, Mad Money's Jim Cramer and Bruce Springsteen have stepped in at the last moment to broker a deal and avert a global financial crisis! Thank you Loord! Just when it seemed the full faith and credit of the United States (of America) was in question, when many were beginning to think our political process was "dysfunctional", order and common sense have returned and we can all rest easier knowing...something...or nothing...whatever.
The details of the deal ( Tea Party prefers the word covenant) remain sketchy at this hour but the crux of the resolution rests on having Oprah Winfrey take over as the Debt Czar, and possibly Prime Minister of Ideology, with exclusive power to sign checks, levy taxes and find out what exactly is the deeper reason so many people are troubled in our modern world.
Global financial markets, China and Bill Gates have all signed on so it appears our Democracy is safe and regular programming will not have to be diverted. Once again America has shown the world that where there is a will there is a way and it is widely expected that Greece and Spain will set up their own Debt Czars. The names of Tom Brokaw, Willie Nelson, and Sandra Day O'Conner are just a few that have been suggested.
Hey, whatever happened to the Arab Spring, anyway?