Goodbye Woody or The Pink Mist

It started with an intense desire to stop this damn woodpecker from drilling anymore softball sized holes in my house. Six o'clock on a Saturday morning, peck ,peck peck,peck son of a bitch.I tried unsuccessfully a couple of times to sneak up on him with the pellet gun but this was one cagey bird, flying off just as I got in range. I knew the karmic effects of dealing with it this way but I could think of no other solution. So today I lay in wait,willing to sit as long as it took, but I made a slight miscalculation in terms of fire power. I over calculated,I now realize, but I thought I might have to take a long shot. I traded the
pellut gun for the 22 hornet,which packs quite a little bit more punch. Considerably more.

The wait ended up being forty five minutes or so of calm predatory focus but eventually the birds need to further destroy my home overcame his instinctual caution. I squoze, woody went from a solid to mostly vapor form but of course the bullet didnt stop there, no,far from it, in fact it carried through the exterior wall into the bathroom, taking out the vanity light but missing the mirror. It proceeded through the bathroom wall and into the laundry somewhere, taking out rather large shards of plaster as it did so.

The rest of the morning was spent burying and spackeling and sweeping and painting and hosing but you know what, I think I sent a message. Daves house is off limits, find a tree.